This is awesome and perfect for me in every way except one: when I spend too much time alone, thinking my random-ass thoughts I start to feel really tense and lost.
I like to think I am pretty mellow and even-keeled but without some sort of outlet: exercise (ha!) or blogging I start to spin my wheels too much.
So, I am back to feeling like posting every random, mundane thought that clutters up my mind. I know how narcissistic that is and I'm ok with that. I know it's not always interesting to read but I have really missed this space.
So much has happened in the past year or so...much of it isn't really blog-worthy but I feel back to being myself and having the ability to reach out to others again. I spend a while figuratively curled up in the fetal position, licking my wounds and now I feel ok.
Better than ok, really. Although I get stressed out and lose focus I do know that I have everything I need.
Where am I at right now? Well, it rained all night and all morning which is so not motivating me to get my day going. But right now, the sun is peeking out and I am going to do some work. It's the end of the period and I will need to visit one of my stores again before it ends officially.
This weekend C and I have the boys. I am hoping it doesn't rain both days. The forecast shows a cold front at best and yucky rain and cloudy weather at worst. The weather last week was so amazing, it's too bad it's not going to stick around. I do have lots of new craft supplies so we can just paint and build stuff all weekend.
I was hoping to be able to take the boys on a special date today when I pick them up from school: they've been with their dad the past two days and it's the end of the week. But apparently Moomers had a bad day at school yesterday and got in trouble. I don't know the whole story but I really don't like rewarding "bad" behavior. I need them to earn special stuff so they don't turn into ungrateful little monsters.
We have a sticker chart and that works well usually.
I've also found recently that I am getting more neurotic regarding the house. I need it to be clean and when it's not I feel completely tense and out of whack. The boys' room is a hot mess right now and I'm torn between just cleaning it and starting fresh for the weekend and making them help me clean it when they get home.
I'm trying to teach them to be responsible with their stuff: caps back on markers, gentle with their toys, putting away one thing before moving on to playing with something else...I'm having mixed results with this. I know they are only four but I don't think they are too young to have respect for their things. I just don't want for them to take their stuff for granted and expect new toys and art supplies when they are careless with the ones they already have.