Today I worked for a few hours, doing a skincare demo at Whole Foods.
It's always a bit strange for me to be out in public without my boys. They are usually everywhere that I am, from the shower to bed and out on errands.
I find myself smiling and nodding to other parents, mostly other moms. Like, hi--hey, I'm uh...in the club. And since I am alone I usually get puzzled smiles in return. Then they clutch their babies a little tighter.
It's so strange to have parenting be my main source of identity. What was it before? Was it mutable? I was an esthetician but my job has never permeated every aspect of my life. Was it wife? I don't think so, S and I aren't really one of those power-couples that are inextricably linked together.
When I think back to how I spent my (loads and loads) of free time before, I come up with a lot of sleeping and general lounging.
When I lived in SF, especially in the early days there was a lot of drinking and morning-after brunching. A lot of thrifting. Some shows, but really--honestly--a whole shitload of loafing.
Being a parent has given my life depth and direction. Since my "free time" is severely limited (really, I'm on lock-down, ya'll) I cherish it fiercely. I have been able to see myself completely, flaws, hidden talents and all. I feel like I can finally tap into my creativity and passion for life.
And since I see very clearly now where I am lacking I am trying very hard to improve. I want to teach my boys that life is about constantly learning and growing and applying new knowledge. There is so much to know and learn out there and I am scrambling to absorb as much as I can.
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