Overheard at Whole Foods...

Little boy: (about six) Mama...
Mom: Yes...
LB: I've been thinking about it and I really think you have a good reputation.
Mom: Oh, well I'm really glad.

Little boys are SOOOOOO cute!

Halloween Sucks!

I was really excited about today. It was going to be family-day deluxe. I was going to get all willing members of my little tribe all Halloweened up (me & the boys) and go on a super fun adventure. There were several things going on around town but I finally decided on this one:

Like eating candy? Like spooky hayrides? How about handling things with more legs than you?
Something has been concocted to strike every fancy. On Oct. 28 between 3 and 6 p.m. round up the family and head to Zilker Park for the 7th Annual Halloween Trail.
This year promises to be the biggest production yet. Interactive carnival booths, pony rides, an exotic petting zoo and an entertainment stage will be provided for your enjoyment.
Have the family dressed up and ready to enter the costume contest. There is an age bracket for everyone and prizes will be awarded for the best looking participants. There will be plenty of pizza, barbecue and more to feed you and your family’s monster-sized hunger. Admission into the Halloween Trail is $1 plus a canned good that will be donated to the Capital Area Food Bank.

I simply could not wait for the boys to go on the pony ride. And the exotic petting zoo. They were going to so cute petting all those animals! I was so so so excited. I got them all riled up, too and they refused to nap. So I put on their costumes and set them up on a stool next to me in the bathroom so they could watch me put on my makeup. I thought it was sooooo clever to have us all dress up like furry animals. And I got all of our stuff for less than $15...adorable AND thrifty!!
So anyway, I drag us all down there, S a-grumblin' because he loathes Halloween and find....a couple of crappy tents with bored-looking adults sitting next to a bowl of lame candy. And that's pretty much it. No pony. No petting zoo. Just some families milling about randomly, the kids zooming along on a major sugar high. So major that they didn't notice that they were at Crapfest '07.
We got there at about 4:30pm because the boys napped in the car. I thought an hour and a half would be perfect. Imagine my irritation and confusion when the haunted house and strange 'safety house' hosted by the fire department were both closing up and refused to let us in.
I was so frustrated and disappointed I wanted to cry. But I couldn't because I had on a full face of freaking LEOPARD makeup. I felt like such an asshole. The high point of the day came when the boys spotted a John Deere there to pick up garbage. They sat in it and were happy as little clams. We trudged back to the car and came home.
When we all piled out our neighbors said 'been Halloweening? How fun!' I ran in the house and scrubbed off all my stupid makeup and started dinner. Eff this stupid holiday. I can't wait for Wednesday to come so I can hand out my stupid little boxes of raisins and let the kids in their toxic plastic costumes look at me with utter disappointment.
Oh, and I googled 'zilker halloween' again and realized that the great ad I read was for Halloween 2001. Oops. This year's was from 2-5 and the blurb sounded about as lame as it was. Weak.

"My Look"

The other day I was driving to Houston with my friend C for business. On the way back we got to talking about a conversation she had recently with our mutual friend, G. They had been talking about their personal "look." G's was 'Frida Kahlo meets Native American with a bit of gypsy but less costume-y'. C's is 'Pippi Longstocking meets hobo clown, with lots of mismatched layers . . . including outsized flower pins, striped knit scarves, vintage prints, and fingerless gloves.' I asked my friend K what her look was and she narrowed it down to 'modern trendy girly with a bit of retro glam.'
This got me to thinking about my own "personal look." Not how I normally look-- I mean, I'm a mom. If you catch me at home I will probably be wearing drawstring pants and a tank top. But I really couldn't just rattle of a few adjectives for C during our talk. And this bothered me. How could I not know what image I was trying to project? No wonder my closet is crammed full of crap I never wear. After a few days of thinking about it, I finally narrowed it down, (kind of) and I'm pretty excited about it. Now I feel like I will be able to go through my clothes and if an item fails to fall into one of my categories I can donate it without hesitation. The only problem is now when I get dressed I mentally note which look I'm rocking.
Just so you know, I am quite aware of how narcissistic this exercise was and I'm ok with that.
So since this is my blog I'm going to bore you with the details. I wasn't able to come up with anything short and snappy. Per usual me, it is long and drawn out, here ya go:

Overview:

Basic outfits rock n' rolled up a little. Semi-dramatic, shimmery makeup, flowy hair. Silver jewelry, sometimes with turquoise. Good colors for me: blue, green, red, black, berry. Avoid: white, tan, orange and lilac. Natural fibers, (cotton, linen,wool, silk) organic when economically feasible.

Celebrity influences:

Angelina Jolie (against my will, really...) and Liv Tyler. Both mamas, both brunettes. Of course.

The Looks:

Modern Hippie/Earth Mama: jeans, flowy tops, cardigans with flip flops or Birkenstocks. I'll probably be cleaning the house or at the park in this one.

50's Housewife meets 70's Punk Rock: Shirtwaist dresses, red lipstick, Converse, rolled up jeans, sweater sets.

60's Swinger/Beatnik: "With her carefully applied eyeliner, precise brows and light, glossy lips, this sixties "cool cat" could be seen... at a backyard barbecue or serving fondue for a ranch-style house full of guests. Very Mary Tyler-Moore a'la Laura Petrie. With her hair pulled back in a tight, springy ponytail and wearing a flirtatious grin, her congenial gaze seems to say, "Twister, anyone?"
-From Face Forward by Kevyn Aucoin. See photo of Lisa Marie Presley as the Swinger above.

Punk Rock business casual: Trousers, a-line skirts, button down shirts with tough-looking boots. Work wear.

Hot Mama: Jeans, tight t-shirts/camisoles/tank tops with cardigans and ballet flats. When I'm feeling honkeytonk/rockabilly I'll throw on some cowboy boots. I'll probably be pushing a stroller.

So there you have it. Now you can mentally label your own look. Share if you feel so inclined.

My Little Pumpkins!

I'm entering this super cute photo of the boys in a Fall photo contest over here:

http://twinkies.bastetweb.com/photo-contest/

Once the poll is up I'll post a link so you can vote and I can win!!!

Fall Knits

I don't know what it is, but the arrival of Fall always sets off some inner craft alarm-clock that makes me itching to knit something. The weather here has been decidedly un-Fall-like so far, still sweaty and sunny but the sky has that brilliant October blue and there are pumpkins everywhere so my brain has been flooded with ideas of stuff to knit.
I started a simple keyhole scarf the other night. You would think I have too many scarves, but you would be mistaken. I only have one really that I wear. This one is made from a really beautiful maroony-red alpaca/silk blend that I could only afford one skein of. It is going to feel great against my skin. I also need a basic black fuzzy long super-skinny scarf.
I also would like to knit and felt a sunglass case in white and embroider the words TWIN (one side) MAMA (other side)
I know these sound like pathetic projects for a somewhat seasoned knitter but with the boys I have to choose small, easy projects otherwise I will never complete them. I'll post pics once I complete something. I've been blogging all night otherwise the keyhole scarf would have been close to finished. Oh, well.

My Little Feminist!

I have always loved the idea of male feminists so imagine my delight when I asked LeeLee if he wanted a magazine to read while he sat on the big-boy potty and he pointed to the latest issue of Bust. He turned right to the back, to the Bust Boobtique. Of course!

It's that time again

I assume that reading about my PMS every month gets a bit boring, but really. PMS sucks. I hate feeling cranky and bloated and miserable and just generally unhappy for roughly a week every month. I've been taking primrose oil, that does help.
Usually when I am feeling down for whatever reason, but especially due to hormone issues I just go with it. Fighting it never really works so why not curl up with a bag of M&M's and a Cure cd?
This month, my PMS is following a kind of Autumnal theme.
Yesterday I drove to the dollar store while S and the boys went for a bike ride. Another thing I do every month now that I have my period back is I obsess over whether or not I could be pregnant. When I was first pregnant with the boys I thought I just had really bad PMS, it feels pretty similar so now each month I panic, thinking that I am pregnant (with twins!) again.
So anyway, yesterday I was driving to the dollar store to get pg tests (although really, should I trust such an important task to a dollar store fake EPT?) and I was annoyed to my core by every dumbass driver around me.
Here in Texas there are signs posted urging us to "Drive Friendly." Well, I was not driving friendly. I was driving cranky, ya'll. I did not want anyone to get into my lane, I didn't want to slow down for pedestrians.
I ducked in to the dollar store and felt very conspicuous with my four pregnancy tests and two bags of candy corn. (what? it's October!) I didn't expect this at all, but the douchwad that manages the store said 'four, huh? wanna make sure they work? they work, I assure you. and what a bargain. next door at Target these babies cost ten, eleven dollars each.' I managed a tight smile before I raced to the car, tore open my (I know, disgusting, synthetic, no-nutritional value) candy corn.
This is the time of month when I let all of my natural preferences slide. I could only eat about four candy corn before I felt nauseous which led me to believe that I was definitely pregnant. Never mind that I was ingesting pure sugar and artificial flavors and god knows what else (I can't bring myself to read the ingredients)
I drove cranky all the way home, peed on my test (negative, of course) took a shower and waited for a work phone call. I cleaned the house as I chatted about natural skincare and by the time S and the boys returned I felt much better.
Today we're back to square one. I pissed S off at the breakfast table and now he's holed up in his room. He slept late and the boys broke a light bulb out of a lamp and poured juice on the floor. I was pretty irritable by the time he came on the scene, in time to eat oatmeal I had made. Now the boys are running around naked in the backyard and terrorizing our neighbors with their supersonic squealing.

Kissy Face

The boys have been so delightfully kissy lately. There was a sad, sad time recently where they would refuse most kiss requests. They would even go so far as to shake their head briskly 'NO' and sometimes even push my face away. Ouch! But now they are kissing machines and I love it! They kiss me, S, each other, owies, photos, books, whatever. They find affection for most everything currently.
*happy sigh*

New Toofies!!

Finally

The boys had their dental surgery yesterday. What an ordeal.

We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am and they couldn't eat or drink anything, even water after midnight.

We stuffed them full of food and breastmilk all night and they fell asleep a little after eleven.

I was worried about them not having a full night's sleep before going into surgery but I was more afraid that if I put them to bed earlier they would just wake up earlier, demanding nummies.

I slept in S's room so they wouldn't roll over and latch on without me realizing it. I slept fitfully and S slept hardly at at all. He ended up going to the couch because he can't sleep with me.
(which is why we've always had separate rooms, even before we had the boys)

At 4:30am I heard that familiar 'where is mama' cry and it broke my heart to not be able to respond. I put a hoodie on over my tank top to block access to my boobs and let S try to comfort them, to no avail. I've never tried to wean and have never heard them cry because they couldn't breastfeed.

S has heard it, because he's been with them overnight without me before. But since I was there, it was a million times worse.

We got them dressed and S took them for a walk in the stroller to go watch the trains go by while I pumped and made our morning tea (for me) and coffee (for him)

Driving in the dark towards the hospital felt like when I was pregnant and had to go to be induced. It was a bit surreal.

By the time we had gotten there the boys had more or less calmed down. We filled out paperwork and I read to them a little bit from "The Little Engine That Could." They both insisted on doing their patented 'look at me I'm cute and I have a twin' stomp around the room.

It worked, they got lots of smiles from the other people waiting nervously to be admitted.
Once we were sent back to our room the boys were plastered with Thomas and Tonka stickers and S rolled them around in a giant Radio Flyer wagon lined with fluffy pillows.

LeeLee was still apprehensive but Moomers was lounging. They had the whole thing filled with their stuffed animals. Since LeeLee was more agitated we decided to have him go first.

It was so weird to put him in his little hospital gown covered with clowns and a pair of huge red no-skid socks. He was given some liquid baby Valium and he grew spacey and drowsy but still wasn't very calm.

He stroked my hair with clumsy hands, pupils the size of saucers. I held him in my lap and fought back hysterical tears. The nurse came to get him and he screamed when she took him from my arms. I could hear him crying all the way back to the operating room. The nurse came out a few minutes later to tell us that his breathing tube and IV were inserted successfully and after breathing the 'magic air' he was asleep and they were beginning surgery.

Moomers was thrilled to have both of us all to himself and he pranced around holding our hands and we walked endless laps around the nurses' station. He was calm and sweet. About an hour later they came and gave Moomers his drugs and he sucked it down eagerly.

After a minute he was completely out of it, trying to bite my nose then giggling hysterically. I took him on a final lap around the unit and he felt up a nurse wearing scrubs with butterflies on it. She smiled indulgently as he drunkenly groped her left breast.

When they were done with LeeLee, his dentist came out and told us it went well and that he was in the recovery room and they would bring him out when he was awake.

We discussed M's teeth and all agreed that he should have stainless steel caps instead of white since he had less tooth surface to work with. I had a lump in my throat as we discussed it. I did not want my poor Moomers to be stuck with a giant metal grill for the next four years but I also wanted to do what made the most sense for his teeth. He didn't fuss at all when the nurse came and scooped him into her arms and took him back to the OR.

S came in our room and told me that he could hear LeeLee crying in his recovery room. I walked to the huge double doors and sure enough, I could hear my LeeLee crying for me. It took all I had not to rush back there and grab him.

They finally brought him out and gave him to me. He was bloody and swollen and afraid. I took him to our room and held him close and let him try to nurse. Once my nipple got in his mouth he relaxed and fell asleep. He was in and out of consciousness for about an hour but finally was able to nurse. Once he was awake we put his clothes back on including his baseball cap that he prefers to wear backwards.

Shortly after that, Moomers was wheeled out in a giant crib, asleep with a large puddle of blood on the paper sheet next his mouth. He was unconscious for much longer than LeeLee was. His dentist came out and told us that once they were in there he saw that he was able to do white caps on Moomers, too. He said he was glad to do them so M wouldn't be singled out once they're in school. I felt like a superficial a-hole but I was flooded with relief.

We finally left, stumbling out into the late morning sunshine like war refugees. We called our moms to let them know everything was ok and got a sandwich on the way home. All day we fed the boys pudding and soup and boobie milk and they fell asleep at 2 or so, waking at 7:30pm long enough to play with blocks, eat more food and go back to sleep for the night.

M seems to be in more pain, but L's face is way puffier. I asked LeeLee to smile and he squinted his eyes and pulled back his swollen lips, flashing me a mouthful of bright white teeth, looking quite like Gary Busey. M grinned too, looking like Gary Busey's younger-by-three-minutes-and-smaller-by-three-pounds identical twin. Which is such a relief because I thought at least one of them would look like a tiny Caucasian Lil' Jon.

Oh, ps: S had to go to the store and get new Tylenol, all we had was a mostly empty crusty bottle that we've had for most of their lives. He returned with... TYLENOL FOR CHILDREN! They have graduated to children. Nooooooooo! Not my babies!

*how I feel now: relieved, thankful, emotional, exhausted yet exhilarated