Retired

Ok...after five years I am retiring MSTB.com There is too much water under the bridge documented here. I don't want to delete anything, but I feel writer's block here. And so since you can't smudge a website I will be moving. Email me at mamasingstheblues@gmail.com if you want the new address. 

Thanks for reading! xoxoxoxoxooxo

How to Built a Community

"Unity. As one stand together."

I very much crave a sense of community. Of giving and receiving from a group of like minded friends. I have made a lot of friends and reconnected with existing friends online and it has been so nice to see how willing people are to step up to help each other. I really want to find a way to integrate that spirit into my everyday face-to-face life.

Questions I'm Asking Myself

1. What kind of life do I want for myself and my family?

2. What is most important to me?

3. What kind of values do I want to teach my children?

4. What do I feel is missing in my life?

5. What worries me about the direction my life has been going?

6. What worries me about making changes?

7. What would my ideal life look like?

8. What am I afraid of?

9. Why have I started to dread holidays? What can I do to make them better?

10. Am I suggesting that we just *stop* buying things altogether? What about necessities? Where do luxuries fit into this? What about holidays, birthdays?

Resolutions

Palace of Fitness

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How I miss you! I will be back just as soon as everyone is healthy! 

Gratitude

When S and I were divorcing I thought one time how nice it must be for some divorced/remarried couples to have two extra people who loved the kids and were there to help. And when you take out the negative emotions that come up sometimes, it really is a blessing.

S and Miss C took the boys last night on what is usually one of my nights. He took them to the dentist and  they took them to school this morning. I was able to focus on my sick baby and husband knowing that my sweet littles were being loved and fed and taken care of.

This morning I was talking to a mama friend who is still married, and also has three kids. We were discussing how stressful the day to day running of a household is WITHOUT sudden illness and when she heard the boys were with their dad she said: 'I wish I had somewhere to send my kids sometimes!'

It seems that blended families are the new extended families. I don't have grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. to lean on but thankfully I do have another set of parents I can call in emergencies.

It is sometimes hard emotionally to *share* but I'm getting better at dealing with that, I think.

This morning I checked my phone and saw that both S and Miss C had texted to ask how baby G was doing. It felt good to know they cared and were there for us.

I am an over-thinker

And I am really working on it. I tend to over-process a situation. It goes from understanding to confusion pretty quickly. It's even worse when I am not exercising or meditating. I have been home with a sick family for a while and that takes away my daily refocusing time. Once I am able to exercise and blow off steam I'll be less wound up.